Self-Help Is Destroying Your Life. Here's Why…

Did you know that the self-help industry is projected to reach $82 billion in size by 2032? No less than 200 million people globally are actively consuming self-improvement books alone. And then they top it off with social media, online courses, and apps.

Now, if you’re one of those people, but you’re not yet a 100% happy, spiritual, multi-millionaire, then this post is for you.

I’ll give you six reasons why self-help content may be destroying your life. Some of these may be a bit controversial, but that doesn’t make them any less true.

And at the end, I’ll give you a simple, no-BS action point that you can apply today to get out of the self-help trap and actually start making progress towards your goals.

Starting with:

Reason Number 1: The Painted World

What is the similarity between a self-help book and eating magic mushrooms?

Well, both can take you to a world so vibrant and bright that Harry Potter movies start looking like black and white Second World War documentaries in comparison. And both can do it from the comfort of your own couch.

Now, here’s a reality check for you. These worlds do not exist.

Remember, we’re all messed up in one way or another. Especially those of us who've made it past thirty. And that’s normal.

So, if someone is trying to sell you a vision of a life which feels like a Sydney Sweeney’s Instagram reel, don’t buy it. It’s not real.

Reason Number 2: The Peasant Syndrome

Read enough self-help books, and you will be convinced that the world is just crowded by great, successful, and inspiring people who all totally have their *ish together.

They’ve overcome so much adversity, become multi-millionaires, built so many businesses, and written so many books. Amazing human beings all around.

And you? Well, clearly, you’re just part of a dumb minority at this point. Say hello to the inferiority complex!

But there is still hope. Even a peasant like you can, maybe, do it. You just need to buy more books from all these gurus.

Number 3: Guilt Trips

Keep reading, and you’ll believe that if by the age of 25, you’re not a millionaire-athlete-entrepreneur with a badass podcast, it's because you're a loser.

You do not take your self-development journey seriously enough.

Why are you still in a 9-5 job? Do you like living a small life? Are you not tired of being a corporate slave?

Are you 40 already? Well, shoot, you’re almost dead. Your last chance to make something of yourself before you kick the bucket is to buy my new book called: “It’s Not Too Late! How to Become a Millionaire After 40”!

Number 4: Speedy Gonzales

Didn’t you know there is a 5-step program to fix just about anything in 30 days?

Are you living from paycheck to paycheck and barely staying ahead of crushing debt? Well, in this book, there's a 5-step program that will help you imagine your way to wealth in just one week!

Suffering from depression? You’re so lucky I just published this book that will take you through a five-step, 30-day journey to learn correct breathing.

You wouldn’t believe how many entrepreneurs this book has helped to un-fuck their lives. They now build even more businesses than before. How? Well, that’s in my next book called “Breathe Your Way to Millions in 30 Days”. Pre-order now!

Number 5: You Can Touch This

Why do people load up Pornhub again and again, multiple times throughout the day?

Is it going to help them get laid in real life, make them more confident, or improve their relationships with their partners?

No, it won’t.

People do it because porn provides shortcuts to dopamine, quick jumps to short-term satisfaction. It’s quick, efficient, and utterly addictive and self-destructive.

Buying yet another self-help book or program is similar to loading up Pornhub yet again.

It can turn into an addiction, which will give you spikes of satisfaction but will not fix anything.

It’s intellectual masturbation, which will keep your brain numb, flaccid, but aching for more.

Number 6: Help Yourself to Help Me

Here’s a question for you: Do you think all self-help authors are truly qualified and genuinely trying to fix your problems?

If so, why is the world so messed up in terms of quality of life, mental health, and overall division? Doesn’t quite make sense, does it?

So, here’s a shocking revelation for you. Self-help is an industry. And like I said at the beginning, it’s a big one. That’s why you get so many “gurus” jumping into it every year. For most of them, helping you is not the point. Selling books is the point.

If they were to actually fix your problems, they would strip themselves of a lucrative market of returning customers. So, they want to keep you on the hook, procrastinating through intellectual masturbation.

The idea is to give you a shot of dopamine and a promise for more if you buy another book, go to a seminar or retreat, sign up for their app, and on and on.

GET REAL

Now, having said all that, does it mean that all self-help books and other content are evil?

Of course not. There's a bunch of great books and other content from trustworthy authors who give actionable advice, do not paint easy roads to perfect lives, and don’t encourage you to keep indulging in mental self-gratification. But you have to realize that those are a minority. And I’ll make a video on them soon.

For now, let me tell you something I discovered for myself, which has helped me multiple times in my life. And it's also a common theme at the core of good self-development books and real-life journeys.

There is only one sure way to start the journey of self-improvement and the life you want.

You have to go through an existential crisis.

You must face despair and fear for where you are in life and where you’re heading.

You need that “No more!” moment. You have to feel deep down in your bones that change is necessary. It has to be so strong that your fear of taking the risky road becomes smaller than the fear of continuing on your current path.

No book, seminar, or podcast, even the good ones, can take you to that place. You have to get there yourself. And it will be a super-uncomfortable journey.

Now, if you’re okay with the fact that it won’t be easy or a magical fix, check out this post: https://www.theequivalentexchange.com/blog/existential-crisis-change-your-life-in-one-second , which breaks down what existential crisis, why it’s necessary and how to get yourself there.

So, stop numbing yourself with intellectual masturbation. Get into a real relationship with your life. Just like real sex, it requires more effort, but it feels way better.

I do hope this will help you to stop touching your brain excessively.